Stars

The very first new song that I heard that hit me hard after Ashton’s diagnosis was Stars by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. The music video is embedded below followed by the lyrics. Please note that YouTube is a great medium for sharing songs online but I rarely watch the videos, just listen to the song on my phone. Music and lyrics often have individual meanings to different listeners. And I often find the videos ruin a song to me lol. This particular song also makes me miss my daddy.

One of my fondest memories of time spent with my dad that keeps coming to mind since he has passed away is him taking my sister and I in the backyard to look at the stars with the small telescope that he picked up. I am not sure what happened to the telescope. My dad also have a very nice large reference book of the Milky Way solar system. I remember looking at that book many a time during my school years. That is one of the few books of his that I would still love to have, it seemed to have disappeared after my parents moved into senior housing. During the downsizing and moving process I inherited a few other books but I was patiently waiting for the time for them to part with the solar system book lol. Oh well, guess it is severely out of date anyways since Pluto is no longer a planet and it is mostly for nostalgic reason that I really want that book, I don’t even know the title of it.

When Ashton first started riding the mini bus, bus for the special education and disabled students I had a little alone time with Ashton in the morning and the regular bus that the girls rode came earlier. On the mornings with a pleasant temperature for Ashton we waited outside and I was always finding something in the sky to point out to him. The morning moon is spectacular. Often I needed to bend down to his eye level sitting in a wheelchair to point so he could notice what I was talking about. Oh, the good old days. Still love the sky that Ashton is rarely comfortable outside and misses a lot.

I lit a fire with the love you left behind
And it burned wild and crept up the mountain side.
I followed your ashes into outer space
I can't look out the window
I can't look at this place
I can't look at the stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars
Up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars
All those times we looked up at the sky
Looking out so far
We felt like we could fly.
And now I'm all alone in the dark of night
The moon is shining
But I can't see the light
And I can't look at the
Stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars
Up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars
Stars
Stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars
Up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
So I can't look at the stars

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